Dear Child, I Just Need a Second
Every mama knows sometimes we are the ones who need the timeout. Time to think, catch our breath, regain our composure, heck just to pee. Today, when the kiddos were occupied I ran to my bathroom quickly. As soon as I shut the door, a little fist started knocking. "Mommy, I come in! I open the door!" And this is what I wanted to say.
I love you so very much. With all of my being. I literally feel like my heart is walking around outside my body. My days and even nights are spent watching over you, keeping you safe, celebrating you, disciplining you, planning the next steps, feeding you, taking care of your booboos and heartbreaks, and so much more. It is a great work, an honor, and tough stuff to be your mother.
So, right now as I am sitting in my closet floor taking a quick timeout and focusing on the remainder of our time today and the memory I would like this day to hold. I listen to your tiny voice. You won't be little like this forever. I hear your little hands twisting the knob. I hear your babydoll's bottle rattling at the door.
One day, you may have children of your own and you will see this part of life. It is a hard and glorious. It is a sacrifice and a gift. It is messy and it is a masterpiece. I pray when you take this quiet time one day you reflect on your life and know God made you for your babies. God gave them you. As mommies, we aren't perfect. Our patience gets thin, our voice can get loud, we don't do everything the way we want to, we may not cook the best meals, or have the pretties house. He gave you them. Our children aren't perfect. They spill, they make mistakes, they color on walls, they push, and they can scream. And that's ok. That is life. Life is messy. Just do one thing. Depend on God. Let Him work through you in this time. You'll realize you can't do it all without leaning on Him. And when you are sitting still and the world is still a crazy reality around you let Him give you a hug filled with grace, encouragement, and go share that with your babies.
And this little timeout gave me life to open the door, be present, and love!
I love you. And I always will.